My love, my past

There was every reason to be besides him.
There was every reason to spend every moment with him.
There was every reason to nag at him , laugh at him, angry at him..
There was every reason to have fun with him.
There was every reason to fall in love with him but I didn’t need a reason.
I thought we were close, close enough for me not to wish for something else.
I thought I had all I could hope for.
It was when expectations, hope and greed came in.
I hoped for something more.
I was exhausted with expectations.
I was desperate with jealousy.
I would cry just at thoughts of him with another girl.
Just an irritated comment of him would ruin my day.
Just an appearance of him would make my day.
Life was him.
Joy was him.
Everything was him.
Although he was never mine.
When I realized he had been head over toes with his ex,
When I realized that he had a fling with another girl while I was always besides him,
When I realized that he met a new girl worth his love,
My heart was shattered, broken into a million pieces, but I had never been able to piece it back together.
All I could wish for was to move on, to get over all the memories with him as it was just a past.
He was my past, my love, my life.

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